To Help You Determine if You are a Love Addict
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you can answer yes to more than a few of the following questions,
you are probably a love addict. Remember that love addiction comes
in many forms, so even if you don’t answer yes to all of
the questions you may still be a love addict.
You are very needy when it comes to relationships.
fall in love very easily and too quickly.
you fall in love, you can’t stop fantasizing—even
to do important things. You can’t help yourself.
when you are lonely and looking for companionship, you lower your
standards and settle for less than you want or deserve.
you are in a relationship, you tend to smother your partner.
than once, you have gotten involved with someone who is unable
to commit—hoping he or she will change.
you have bonded with someone, you can’t let go.
When you are attracted to someone, you will ignore all the warning
signs that this person is not good for you.
attraction is more important to you than anything else when it
comes to falling in love and choosing a partner. Falling in love
over time does not appeal to you and is not an option.
you are in love, you trust people who are not trustworthy. The
rest of the time you have a hard time trusting people.
a relationship ends, you feel your life is over and more than
once you have thought about suicide because of a failed relationship.
take on more than your share of responsibility for the survival
of a relationship.
and relationships are the only things that interest you.
some of your relationships you were the only one in love.
are overwhelmed with loneliness when you are not in love or in
cannot stand being alone. You do not enjoy your own company.
than once, you have gotten involved with the wrong person to avoid
are terrified of never finding someone to love.
You feel inadequate if you are not in a relationship.
cannot say no when you are in love or if your partner threatens
to leave you.
try very hard to be who your partner wants you to be. You will
do anything to please him or her—even abandon yourself (sacrifice
what you want, need and value).
you are in love, you only see what you want to see. You distort
reality to quell anxiety and feed your fantasies.
have a high tolerance for suffering in relationships. You are
willing to suffer neglect, depression, loneliness, dishonesty—even
abuse—to avoid the pain of separation anxiety (what you
feel when you are not with someone you have bonded with).
than once, you have carried a torch for someone and it was agonizing.
love romance. You have had more than one romantic interest at
a time even when it involved dishonesty.
have stayed with an abusive person.
Fantasies about someone you love, even if he or she is unavailable,
are more important to you than meeting someone who is available.
are terrified of being abandoned. Even the slightest rejection
feels like abandonment and it makes you feel horrible.
chase after people who have rejected you and try desperately to
change their minds.
you are in love, you are overly possessive and jealous.
More than once, you have neglected family or friends because of
have no impulse control when you are in love.
feel an overwhelming need to check up on someone you are in love
More than once, you have spied on someone you are in love with.
pursue someone you are in love with even if he or she is with
you are part of a love triangle (three people), you believe all
is fair in love and war. You do not walk away.
Love is the most important thing in the world to you.
if you are not in a relationship, you still fantasize about love
all the time— either someone you once loved or the perfect
person who is going to come into your life someday.
far back as you can remember, you have been preoccupied with love
and romantic fantasies.
feel powerless when you fall in love—as if you are in
some kind of trance or under a spell. You lose your ability
to make wise choices.
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Please note that this is not the questionnaire in
my book Addiction to Love. This is an updated list of questions
that I wrote for the new organization Love